Meta And Microsoft Stocks Soaring This Quarter!

In a dazzling display that would make even the stock market gods nod in approval, Meta shares surged over 5% after reporting eye-popping revenue in Q1. With earnings cementing them as the “cool kids” on Wall Street, investors now clutch their wallets like Gollum with his ring.

Earnings per share flew to $6.43, beating forecasts of $5.28, while revenue shot up to $42.31 billion—yes, that’s billion with a “b,” and not just penny candy sales. With q1 sales rising by a whopping 16% and net income soaring 35% to $16.64 billion, the stock market is practically throwing confetti.

Looking ahead, Meta hinted that Q2 sales could range between $42.5 billion and $45.5 billion, right in the sweet spot predicted by analysts at $44.03 billion. CEO Mark Zuckerberg exuded confidence as he told analysts they were “well-positioned” amidst “macroeconomic uncertainty,” and he’s not just talking about his hairline.

In what feels like the financial equivalent of playing Jenga, Meta trimmed its 2025 total expenses forecast down to $113-$118 billion but raised capital expenditures to $64-$72 billion. It’s like saying, “We’re cutting snacks but upgrading the vending machine!” More costs for AI infrastructure, because why not?

However, in a plot twist worthy of a summer blockbuster, Meta warned that a recent ruling by the European Commission may result in a "materially worse" experience for European users, which is tech jargon for “Hold onto your hats.” The no-ads subscription service is reportedly not compliant. Way to keep it interesting, Europe!

The advertising revenue for Q1 hit $41.39 billion, outpacing projections of $40.44 billion. Meanwhile, Reality Labs is still in the red, with an operating loss of $4.2 billion, which is slightly better than Wall Street's slightly more pessimistic expectation of $4.6 billion. Perhaps it’s time for a new tagline: “Reality is hard, but profits are harder.”

With 3.43 billion daily active users—up from 3.35 billion—Meta seems like that overachieving student who always raises their hand in class. Meanwhile, their marketing team is cranking out ads like a vending machine at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Yes, they’re getting ads everywhere, even on Threads, regardless of our collective sanity.

Yesterday's Top Google Trends

1. Coachella Livestream

Interest spiked yesterday as fans searched for ways to watch performances live online

2. NBA Playoffs

Search interest surged after yesterday's key matchups and upsets

3. Spotify New Features

Users searching for information about Spotify's latest language options announcement

4. Ryan Gosling Star Wars

Fans searching for details about Ryan Gosling joining the Star Wars franchise

5. Climate Change Reports

Recent environmental reports triggered increased searches about climate change

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